Behold! The inaugural StopPress Alternative Media Awards

Tiger Tiger photography

Ah, awards ceremonies, let us count the ways we love thee: delicious foods, free flowing beverages, moments of envy, moments of happiness, moments of appreciation. It’s just like being at a wedding, really, except with a few more fake smiles and occasionally awkward encounters with competitors.

Quite appropriately, the theme of the night was ‘ME’. There were mirrors for Africa; the feathers of the leotarded dancing girls kept touching guests’ heads as they wandered around the room; well-coiffed white-faced Elizabethan characters pranced on stage to dish out the awards (and one of them even rubbed himself up against some rude talkers); MC Oliver Driver, who was a very late replacement for Mike Hosking, was actually quite witty, made regular jokes about Sunrise, slightly offended MediaWorks, TVNZ and DraftFCB’s Derek Lindsay and basically begged everyone there for a job; trips to Rio were given away; and Mr Smith did a fantastic job on the night’s creative.

The role of CAANZ as an organisation is basically to ensure the industry keeps capturing the attention of the masses and getting their messages across. So, not surprisingly, with those skills, it always puts on a good and very well-organised (hat tip: Desiree Doyle) show. And while not quite as grand as the 2010 AXIS awards down at Oram’s Marina, it was most definitely a raging success, with over 600 revelers squeezing in to the Hyatt to applaud, judge and mingle.

You can read about the night’s big winners here. You can see some of your beautiful selves here and here.  And you can also sit back, wallow in your hangover and peruse the winners of the inaugural StopPress Alternative Media Awards*.

Best Rotation of a Jersey in Celebration of a Win: the guy from the MSN NZ table.

Best Potentially Made-Up ‘James Bond Girl’ Name: Grace Villeneuva, DraftFCB, winner of the NBR’s best dressed woman.

Best Pants: Nick Ascough, Starcom

Most Velvety Jacket: Philip O’Neill, Mitchell Communication Group/Will Douglas, OMD (although O’Neill claims to have worn his velvet jacket at the Playboy Mansion, so he wins).

Most Obvious Joke at the Expense of Best Dressed Man Matt Kum: Oliver Driver – “He’ll be living up to his surname tonight.”

Best Use of the Colour Mustard/Yellow: David Gapes, AdMedia/Simon Teagle, Mint.

Best Under the Breath Mutterings from the Audience about Commission Structure While Walking up on Stage: TVNZ’s head of sales, Dave Walker.

Most Appropriate Counting of Cash: Todd Scott, managing editor of the NBR.

Most Awkward Appearance: one of the Playstation 3 winners who ventured up to soak up the glory of her win, only to be turned away by Oliver Driver to walk dejectedly back to her seat.

Best Putting on of Jacket While Rushing Up to Dish Out an Award: Ben Gibb, NZ Marketing/StopPress

Best Strategic Use of High Heels: Hillary Barrett, DraftFCB Media.

Most Bestest Shiniest Jacket: Sean McCready/Harmeet Sehgal from For the Love of Travel magazine.

Award For Constant use of Remixes: DJ Grant Marshall.

Most Annoying Bouncer: The guy at Met/Code.

*Awards were judged by a panel of drunk experts. No correspondence will be entered into. Other entries for inaugural alternative media awards will be accepted.

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