Anchor recently released a black milk bottle to differentiate itself in the aisle (and show its support for the All Blacks, because nothing else matters and because it got back together with the national team after an 80-ish year delay). We cast our eye to the darkest corners of the internet to find some other dairy-based promotions attempting to stand out. They say dairy gives you weird dreams, so perhaps these marketers overdosed on the products they were attempting to sell.
Breast milk marketing
While Lewis Road Creamery cleverly honed in on the shock factor of breast milk for a good cause, this German company called Plain has no rhyme or reason behind associating to it.
From what we can gather, a robot mum is breastfeeding her baby, but needs her batteries (milk) topped up.
Thankfully, there was a Plain guy on standby to top her up.
The catch phrase accompanying the robot mother ad was “"Eine neue art, milch zu trinken"—which translates to "A new way to drink milk." Delicious.
Seeing chocolate marshmallows in a whole new light
Ah, good old Nu Zulund. We never let a sexual innuendo pass us by, as was the case with Pascall’s ad.
In the first seconds you’re feeling a bit squeamish, as this clip is definitely not safe for work. And then brown stuff gets involved and you’re increasingly uncomfortable. But don’t worry, you’re not a perv.
It was all just a chocolate marshmallow.
Bring back people from the dead in the name of chocolate
In a move that shocked many, Dove chocolate brought Hollywood icon Audrey Hepburn back from the dead to promote its new dark chocolate range.
Hepburn’s children approved the move, as their mother “loved rewarding herself with a piece of chocolate”.
A visual effects team and BBDO used Hepburn’s entire film catalogue and all available photos to create the piece with frame-by-frame hand animation, which is pretty amazing, albeit a bit creepy.
We’re out of milk, but dance it off
It’s no secret that some seriously weird ads emerge out of Japan, but this one is particularly funny.
Upon discovering there’s no milk in the fridge, a mother and daughter do some bone-defying dance moves (seriously, their limbs move like jelly) all the way to the grocery store.
Sadly, twerking took off, but not this impressive array of moves.
Spooning ice cream off your head because… reasons
There’s really no explanation required for this one.
Did pairing a usually boring dairy product with a nightmare-inducing ad increase sales? Probably not.
Will American Horror Story use this ad as inspiration? Probably.