A man of many loafers

Last year, when Act’s David Seymour released his sensational campaign video in the lead up to the election, Kiwi social media responded with glee, poking satirical barbs at the awkwardness on display.

And while Seymour has since left the spotlight to tend to his followers in Epsom, another awkward YouTube star has emerged: a blonde protagonist Nelson Patchett, trading under an organisation called SI Empire which aims to help the Plebeian men of New Zealand become alpha males.


The video is big on hype but low on details, and seems to suggest that being an alpha male involves wearing loafers and a plethora of different suit jackets.

The SI Empire website reads like a document that has been leaked from within a Scientologist’s library: “SI Empire has a clear focus, and that’s to immerse ourselves, the community and every individual into the idea of living the brand. How might one do that you may ask? Well it has nothing to do with your bank account, your designer clothing or your genetic makeup. To live the brand, one must be able to sacrifice who they are, for who they want to become.”

And the Tweets are already starting to come in from those unfortunate enough to have stumbled across this delightful project:


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