"'Scuse me, does your bread have any wheat in it? I'm just really wheat intolerant at the moment."
"What would you recommend that looks good on Instagram? I'm not gonna eat it, it's just for my food blog."
Everybody knows somebody who has become obsessed with a ridiculous health regime. Aussie burger chain Grill'd has released two new ads that take the mickey out of those people, who often just can't resist sharing their fantastic new diet and exercise discoveries.
The 'Healthy' Girl ad, released two weeks ago, features a vacuous blonde who drinks diet chardonnay when she detoxes and wonders how many calories are in toothpaste.
The new ads promote the new Grill'd Low Carb SuperBun, a flat, disc-like object that boasts less carbs than a single sushi roll.
The 'Healthy' Girl ad has racked up 305,000 views on YouTube so far, as well as 2,000 likes on Facebook. But some were a little upset with the portrayal of the vacuous girl as being vacuous.
Last week the burger company released the male version, 'Healthy' Guy. 'Healthy' Guy is on the paleo diet, but he's also constantly sipping on a protein shake which he likes to make by pouring his 10kg bucket of protein powder directly into the blender.
Launching the ad on Facebook, Grill'd posted the clip with the quote “Tears are just calories crying," while asking its followers to tag anyone who 'Healthy' Guy reminded them of.
In the theme of out-of-hand diets, here's Jimmy Kimmel not letting the gluten-free brigade get away scot free. His reporters take to the streets to investigate what 'gluten' really is.
Plus this hilarious take from Portlandia shows how beets can terrorise the psyches of a whole society.
More brilliance from Portlandia in this clip that sees an adman's life begin to crumble as he flounders to make his account, celery, the next big thing, while brussel sprouts and kale take off.