‘Equal-opportunity offenders’ choose winners of Alternative Magazine Awards

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33 different businesses and independent journalists entered the 2010 Magazine Awards, with published work from 65 different titles. You can read all about the serious stuff here. But what fun are awards if you can’t laugh at the expense of your colleagues and competitors? Herewith, the StopPress Alternative Magazine awards for 2010.

Award for best use of parrot on a shoulder: Keith Ingram, Professional Skipper

Best use of spotty shirts and a windows media player screensaver: the Partridge family impersonation band Super Highway.

Most common-sensical rebranding: the MPA Awards, now the Magazine Awards. MPA also wins Highly Commended for best use of Microsoft Word 1996 in awards branding.

Moustache of the night: Rod Oram/the guy in the kilt who got kicked out for belting out Flower of Scotland at the bar.

Best use of a horse head in an entry photo: Yolanta Woldendorp, NZ Life & Leisure

Best response to a win: The girl from Tangible who kept yelling ‘Fuck yeah’, the NZ Ski & Snow table and the Healthy Food Guide gang.

Best use of suede jacket: Gregor Paul, NZ Rugby World

Best use of a Raybon Kan: John McClintock, executive director of MPA

Most impractical, yet most fashionable, outfit: Paula Ryan, lifetime achievement award recipient.

Night-time achievement award for increasingly friendly trophy girl: the lovely Kara.

Best typo: “Business Magazine of the Year: Matt Cooney” (keep an eye out the upcoming Cooney Cooney magazine, the pig fancier’s bible).

Best self-clubbed animal fur garment: Vernene Medcalf, HB Media.

Best brightness of teeth: Sido Kitchin, NZ Woman’s Weekly

Best clearing of the dancefloor: Sean Mitchell, Action Media

Best average prize: your very own pull-up banner (which, if adorned with a picture of yourself, would actually make quite a good Christmas present for that special someone).

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