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Behold! The anti-smartphone

According to some guy, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. And in a world filled with too much technology, there is a growing desire among some to simplify, switch off and maintain mindfulness. And that tension can be seen clearly with the EasyPhone, which is targeting a very specific customer base by – gasp! – promoting the removal of ‘smart’ features and – double gasp!  – advertising the product in a newspaper. 

As the anti-technology ad that is seemingly aimed at the tech-illiterate and/or paranoid states proudly: “NO fancy camera, NO Music Player, NO Downloads, NO GPS, NO Sat Nav, NO Video Games or WiFi. Just a straightforward, no-nonsense mobile phone.”

In keeping with the tone of the ad, it’s also offering customers the opportunity to purchase the phone by sending in a coupon via – gasp! – the mail. 

Some tech habits are hard to break, however, and it does run through some its features, including an SOS button, an FM radio and big buttons for the poor-sighted. And, sitting awkwardly in the right hand corner is a banner exclaiming that it is in fact a ‘new model’. Surely an old model would be preferable? 

On a similar, although far more high-tech tip, the Light Phone will (probably not) revolutionise modern society by enticing people to stare at their phones less. Link it to your smartphone with an app, buy a cheap pre-paid plan, and your existing smartphone will forward calls from selected numbers to the tiny Light Phone, which is so small (and, yes, light) it can fit with your credit cards. Need to make a call? You’ll have 10 numbers programmed, otherwise you’ll have to dial the number like it was 1998. 

No email. No text. No Maps. No Twitter. No distractions.

If both these phones are still too much tech for you, then the NoPhone is your best bet. It’s “a fake phone for people who are addicted to real phones”. 

Even the EasyPhone 3G will have a hard time competing with the NoPhone. As it says: “The least advanced phone, ever … No screen. No battery. No phone.” 
Jemaine and Brett, creators of the rustic camera phone, would be proud. 

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